Captains & Crew

Norbert the Normal

Perk

No perk

Cost

No drawback

Lumberjack

Perk

+5 nitro per tree consumed

Cost

Much slower nitro regen (-50%)

Racer Ruth

Perk

+50% speed while boosting

Cost

-15% normal driving speed

Destructoid (launch-day, likely demo values): -10% normal speed

Tankbert

Perk

Max HP grows per vehicle destroyed (0.15 HP per point of run vehicle-kill counter, per datamine)

Cost

Nitro regen 30% slower (was 50% before 0.9.10)

Patches

0.9.6 nerfed (unspecified)
0.9.10 Nitro regen penalty 50% -> 30% slower

0.9.6 'Tankbert nerfed' (no numbers)

Patchy the Pirate

Perk

Your cannons +30% damage

Cost

Enemy cannons +25% damage to you (was +50% before 0.9.10)

Patches

0.9.10 Enemy cannon bonus damage 50% -> 25%

Demo/launch values reportedly +100%/-100% (Destructoid, player post)

Sire Jonah

Perk

Plays techno music

Cost

Only knows one song

Duelist

Perk

+50% melee damage while boosting (melee includes Arms and barracks units per ref guide)

Cost

+20% damage taken while boosting (was +50% before 0.9.10)

Patches

0.9.10 Extra damage taken while boosting 50% -> 20%

The Count

Perk

Heal by consuming units (flat HP per unit, scales with run progress; datamine value 0.15)

Cost

No health crates spawn

Empress

Perk

+100% friendly units

Cost

-30% speed

Destructoid (launch-day): -20% speed

Pyromaniac

Perk

Always on fire; ignites enemies on touch (2 s)

Cost

-0.25 luck

Dieter the Drunk

Perk

+1 luck ('Super lucky')

Cost

Wobbly / zig-zag controls

Patches

demo 2026-02-27 Added as surprise demo captain

Demo announcement (Feb 2026) said he 'deals more damage' while zig-zagging; current data shows only +1 luck

Huntress

Perk

+50% automatic attack speed

Cost

Abilities take 40% longer to recharge (was 50% before 0.9.10)

Patches

0.9.10 Extra ability cooldown 50% -> 40%

Kapitalistus Maximus

Perk

More silver after a run: +40% (x1.4) on converted gold (reference guide datamine; a player reports x1.4 silver). The current tooltip shows no number.

Cost

-15% gold during a run since 0.9.10 (was -20% in the data and shop text before; the official note's '-30%' appears to be a misstatement)

Patches

0.9.10 Gold penalty -30% -> -15% (official wording)

The 0.9.10 note says the penalty went from -30% to -15%, but the 0.9.8 datamine and the pre-0.9.10 shop text both read -20%, so '-30%' looks like a misstatement. Playertome now reads 'Gain 15% less Gold during a run'. 0.9.6 shop text reportedly +25%/-25%; Destructoid launch article -20%/+40%.

Time Witch

Perk

Game runs faster (shop says 2x; datamine time scale 1.5x)

Cost

Game runs faster

Archer Crew

Archers shoot the closest targets.

5 damage × 4 shots every 2 s · range 50 → 65 → 75 → 90

Unlocks

Archer Tower at crew level 5

Canoneer Crew

Canoneers shoot close targets.

10 damage × 2 shots every 4 s

Unlocks

Disputed: reference guide says its quest grants Arms; playertome text says Cannon Tower

Fire Crew

Rains fire on the enemy.

5 damage × 2 shots every 2 s · range 40 → 50 → 60 → 70

Wizard Crew

Magic projectiles at nearby enemies; slows targets for 3 s (0.9.9).

5 damage × 4 shots every 2 s · range 50 → 65 → 75 → 85

Unlocks

Lightning Mage at crew level 5

Carpenters

Heal over time, no damage (8 s interval per datamine; UI says 5 s).

Merchants

Generates gold on a timer (5 s interval, 3 ammo).